The show recently wrapped production on the final phase of the social experiment, in which it proved that entitled assholes can metamorphose into super-duper-mega entitled assholes with liberal applications of alcohol, fame-seeking sexual hook-ups, and scads of money and media attention. These results have already been compiled into a handsome leather-bound volume that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi then rubbed her vagina on.


Of COURSE there’s someone in the comments complaining that parenthood isn’t as hard as having a career.


Candace Moore, an assistant professor at the University of Michigan who gave one of the keynote addresses (titled “Guidosexuality”), spoke about the homosocial friendship between Vinny and Pauly D, and linked the men of the show’s quest for “stranger sex” to gay male sexual culture. Then she showed photos of herself from a recent two-week attempt at living the cast’s GTL — gym, tan, laundry — lifestyle, and failing.

6. I asked Grantland editor and X Factor expert Jay Caspian Kang to come up with a fix for Jersey Shore and he went joyously left:

    “I’d make Sammi gain 30 more pounds and change the requisite Sammi-Ronnie drama into the sad, sad mental degradation of a proud man who slowly realizes that now that the love of his life is a manatee with a weave, there just isn’t any reason to stick around. Then I’d make Ronnie knock up Snooki and make everyone still live in the same house. This would have two benefits. First, Snooki would have to stop drinking, which, on face value, might seem like a bad thing. But watching her try to figure out what to do with her time now that alcohol is no longer an option would be even better than watching her waddle around nightclubs. Second, Snooki v. Sammi would have rounds 2, 3, 4 and 5.”

A sober Snooki is genius. It would be like seeing if Bobcat Goldthwait was funny with a normal voice.

"I would love a recurring role on ‘90210.’ I would say yes to just about any role in acting that doesn’t tarnish my image"

— Vinny Guadagnino, aspiring thespian Broadway geek.

(Source: The Huffington Post)